Friday, June 27, 2014

How structural violence works to break you in

Will mention no names, it could happen ANYWHERE. At the location of my readers.

(I wrote this one a few weeks ago, its publishing now has some personal reasons to it, which I will perhaps later put in writing in more detail, but to sum it up in short, I'd only say, we had enough of some imbecilities on part of the "school" and its annoying "headteacher". While writing this previous sentence, I tried to avoid using harsh words and labeling, and found it hard.)

If one has harbored any illusions on how sick our society was, here's an example to better describe how the structural violence of our today's society works. All it requires is stupid people (the word sheeple better describes them) whose only motive in life is to obey and conform, without asking any questions, without using their common sense, without any signs of creative thinking. To be honest, in this case it wouldn't require too much: you'd find a solution on your own very very soon. Just you'd have to use your brain - a tiny bit creatively.

It's 8:40'ish in the morning, I'm dropping off my kids in school. We are a bit late, or maybe not quite yet, so the older ones jump out of the car at the drop off (which is consequently mistaken for parking spaces by the majority of local drivers, pretty annoying, post on their driving habits later), then we go further with my smallest to look for a nice place to park. When we get out of the car, all we can hear is a horrified and hysterical youngster crying, and all the people's heads in the street we can see turn into the direction of the source. Two ladies are carrying a young child, who tries to break free, but obviously can't. My first thought is that this poor youngster didn't want to go to school this morning, so mummy and auntie had their crazy idea on how they were supposed to get the little chap to the school premises. Many of the "audience" are laughing, making comments on the young fella. That's how it all begins. Overcoming my first shock, we are slowly walking in. As we talk with my kid, it turns out from what he says that the two ladies were not parents of any sort, they were school personnel. o.O What the hell?
So we discuss the matter with my kid a bit further and agree that the little chap would have needed some talk in the first place, perhaps he wouldn't have gone hysterical.
Mind you, all this concluded basically by an 8 year old!!!

We say goodbye, as dad and son does in a normal society, and then I'm walking back to the car. On my way I pass by a small building.
At the very moment I'm there, the door slams open and the same youngster, even more hysterical, runs out to the gate of that building, which is now obviously locked. All the way he's crying "mommy, mommy, I want to go to my mommy". The passers by are laughing, making comments. Horrible. The two "teachers" are coming out again.
And here's my shock. 
Simply picking him up and taking him back in. It requires the efforts of both of them as the kid is fighting fiercely. 

So let's summarize, how did this happen.

  1. The first and greatest violence here is on the part of the GOVERNMENT. Which does not support families of these youngsters and does not provide a normal, sufficient education to the parents to prepare them to parenthood. As many people would say, even my British English neighbor: to make a child is easy - to bring them up properly is the main task. The government does not support families in a sufficient way. If it were sufficient, mums wouldn't be forced to go back to work, leaving their small youngsters to strangers. It does not require a mentally ill series killer or pedophile to get these youngsters hurt. It's enough to have teachers like these ones are. Not necessarily uneducated, but under-educated definitely, insensitive, with EQ almost nil. IQ is one thing, and EQ is another. You can be as smart as you want to be, if you lack compassion, you're on the level of a series killer pedophile. Then the profession of a teacher is best be avoided by you, and why not choose butcher instead? You deffo have the skills. So, in my opinion the practice we have here is SICK. Profoundly sick. It is profoundly sick to send mums back to work and force them to leave their kids to strangers. The best child minder is not a childless professional, or a practicing mum professional, who is a stranger to the kid. The best child minder is not a nanny. It is the very mum that no-one can substitute. My kid's teacher a year and a half ago left the school for maternity leave. The same lady is now back, forcing her small kid to spend time with a childminder instead of herself, while she takes care of others' kids. (She wasn't involved in this situation.) Because this is how society works. I can't blame her for doing this, of course she wants to pay her bills, wants to earn enough for a living. The problem here is that she HAS TO do this. That she has no other choice. She can't do it any other way, because our "civilized" society has this in the pocket for mums and small kids. This is the first step towards breaking them in. After all these things we must go to the next area neglected. Educating parents on parenthood. If the mum of this kid had been prepared for basic things like how to communicate with her kid, the chap wouldn't have acted the way he did. Mommy should have told him those basic things that could have calmed his mind in the first place. A pity she didn't. Little does she know what harm she has caused her youngster by this neglect.
  2. The second violence here is the way these "teachers" acted. Who said you cannot talk to a hysterical kid? Who said they couldn't have avoided this screenplay altogether? Treat that kid as a partner, try, GIVE IT A TRY to get to common terms with them, to be understood. Tell them that now it is impossible to take them to their mummy, because now mummy is very busy to make ends meet, but she will be back soon. Until then you can play, do this and that. Provide options they can choose from. Sorry, no mummy, but till she gets back, you can choose this or that. Which one will you choose? Oh, you still choose mummy? Okay, then we tell mummy to hurry up, and till mummy comes, we can get engaged in other activities. Tell them all these things the way they understand. Children are not the persons of cool reasoning. They are more of an emotional type of creatures - surely you must remember, dear Mr. / Mrs. Teacher, you must have been a child once. And if your childhood was made hell the way you make the childhood of these kids hell nowadays, that is not a good excuse for your behavior. You're not a butcher. You're not a robot. You have feelings, too. Try to get the trust of that small person. Speak calmly, let your voice hold some comfort into which the child can grip. Surely, they will stick to you rather than run away from you with all their strength. Don't rape the soul of that child with your butcher level of sensitivity and compassion. Show empathy! If you can't, LEAVE THE JOB. If you can't cope with this task, then be a butcher in the nearest supermarket. 
  3. The third violence here is of the passers by. Their laughter and comments are the very tools that engrave all the bitterness and frustration of this situation into the soul of this youngster. That he reached out for help in a situation - and there was none. The very ones that were present and supposed to help, just turned away, even mocking him and accusing him of things that were not true. They told him that he was crazy, etc. He had a real need - for a hug, preferably from mum, for comfort, for kind words, etc. What he got instead was harsh comments, misunderstanding, labeling. Refusal. Of course he rebelled. Even you would, dear reader.

What happens to these kids afterwards? 
Mummy gets notified of the incident. "Your son escaped from the school building, was quite hysterical, etc." Labeling again. 
What is most likely mummy would do? 
Most likely is that they will get an appointment to a "specialist".
Doctors are mostly drug dealers - with only very few exceptions. 
Psychiatrists lead the statistics in suicide - common knowledge. But please try to think about it. There must be reasons behind it. Their methods must have something to do with this. 

The kid is taken care of by them if you take him to them. 
They are most likely to apply their methods to him.
In their own case it ends with suicide in a really high percentage of the cases.

Most likely he will get some "medicines", the prescribed medicines listing the ingredients in a language you don't speak, so that you don't understand that your kid is getting druged with highly addictive drugs like cocaine and alike. His behavior gets controlled by psychiatric practices and methods - while on the first pages of almost every book on psychiatry they admit that they can't cure these sicknesses, only lessen the symptoms. They don't even agree on what can be called sickness, psychiatry is a really fragmented "science" - with not to much useful and successful cures. 
Of course they can't cure sicknesses.
Mummy could.
But mummy is forced by society to get these "doctors" involved - instead of giving her child what he needed most in the first place. 

So what happened here?

A young member of our society got raped.
He most likely gets drugged: numbed and dumbed down. He won't be able to think clearly - about himself, about the world, about anything. He won't be able to make healthy deductions from the inputs. He will blame himself, the world, his surroundings. He won't definitely have a healthy feeling about himself, will not value himself.

Their talent gets wasted. Most probably it is going to happen. If you want to conform, the creative bits of your life are the very ones that get the trimming first. Especially if you are labeled problematic by society. 

They got labeled and refused, this way put on a constrained course. 

Of course this thing can be stopped. This can be avoided. But it requires conscious deeds from a conscious mummy. And daddy if there is one. 
And teachers, if there can any be found - and not just butchers.
What are the odds they can get it?

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